Life is Messy and That’s Okay

“It’s a form of human love to accept our complicated, 

messy humanity and not run away from it.”

— MARTHA MUSSBAUME

Let’s face it—life is messy.

Not just a-little-dust-under-the-rug messy, but your-computer-crashing, your-emotions-going-out-of-control kind of messy.

We spill coffee on our favorite shirt five minutes before a Zoom call. We forget birthdays. We lose our temper with the people we love most. Sometimes we just feel stuck. Or tired. Or both.

I’ve had days where I’ve set out to be spiritually aligned, grounded, and reflective—only to find myself elbow-deep in a plumbing issue, muttering something decidedly un-spiritual. And you know what? That was part of the lesson too.

Because here’s the thing: the mess doesn’t mean we’re doing life wrong.

In fact, the mess is the curriculum for our life.

Life is a series of lessons—many of them disguised as detours, frustrations, or full-blown chaos. And if we don’t learn the lesson the first time, life will lovingly circle back to try again. Not to punish us, but to help us grow. To invite us deeper into the truth of who we are at our core.

Yes, we can react with frustration or disappointment, asking, “Why is this happening to me?” But often, the more helpful question is: “What is this trying to teach me?”

I realize now that when I am surrounded by chaos and overwhelm—those are the times I learn the most about myself, because of how I react to that chaos. It gives me invaluable clues about myself and the lessons I need to pay attention to.

We don’t have to like what’s happening. We don’t have to pretend it feels good. But we can accept it—see it for what it is—and move forward with a bit more grace. That’s a great lesson!

Learning not to resist what is may be one of life’s greatest lessons—because resistance rarely changes the moment, but it often robs us of peace.

When I personally go through rough patches, I remind myself, “Go with the flow, Jacques.” It helps me step back, diffuse the tension, accept what’s happening, and move forward with a bit more ease.

Your peace doesn’t depend on everything being orderly and predictable. Your joy isn’t held hostage by perfection. The quality of your life is shaped far more by your response to the mess than by the mess itself.

What if the very situation that’s stretching you right now is also shaping you?

What if the mess is not in your way—but the way itself?

Take a moment to ask:

What pattern(s) am I being invited to break?
What lesson(s) keep showing up, asking to be learned?

So this summer, let’s stop waiting for the mess to be over.

Let’s live right in the middle of it—with humor, with humility, and with a heart open to whatever life is trying to teach us.

Because life is messy.

And that’s okay.