Coming Home to Your Heart 2

Part 2 of 3

In Part 2, we explored an essential question: Is my heart truly open? If you found yourself realizing that your heart may be more closed than you thought, please know—you’re not alone.

The next step on this journey is understanding why. What causes us to close our hearts? What are the barriers that keep love, joy, and connection at bay?

The truth is most of us don’t choose to close our hearts. It happens quietly, over time, as a response to our experiences.

Barriers That Can Keep You Guarded

• Past Wounds & Emotional Pain Perhaps you’ve been hurt—by a betrayal, a loss, or a love that didn’t last. Maybe you trusted someone who let you down. When pain enters our lives, we instinctively close off to avoid future hurt. Unfortunately in doing so, we don’t just block out pain—we also block out love, connection, and healing.

• Fear of Vulnerability To have an open heart is to be vulnerable. It requires us to let people see us—the real us. That can feel terrifying, especially if we fear judgment, rejection, or not being enough. But in shielding ourselves from pain, we also shield ourselves from the depth of human connection.

• Unconscious Conditioning Many of us were raised to believe that emotions should be controlled, that vulnerability is weakness, or that self-reliance is the highest virtue. These beliefs can unknowingly build walls around our hearts, making it hard to let others in—even when we crave connection.

• The Illusion of Control A closed heart often gives us a false sense of control. We tell ourselves: If I don’t get too attached, I won’t get hurt. If I keep my expectations low, I won’t be disappointed. But in trying to control pain, we also limit our capacity for joy, love, and deep relationships.

• Overthinking & Emotional Guarding Some of us intellectualize everything—analyzing instead of feeling, rationalizing instead of experiencing. While the mind is a powerful tool, it can’t block the heart’s wisdom. Love, connection, and fulfillment aren’t problems to be solved; they are experiences to be felt.

Breaking Through Barriers

The first step in opening your heart is simply awareness. If you recognize yourself in any of these barriers, be gentle with yourself. You are not broken, and you do not need to force your heart open overnight. The walls didn’t appear in a day, and they won’t disappear in a day either.

Questions to Reflect On

• What has my closed heart cost me?
• Has it distanced myself from experiencing a committed romantic love?
• Did it prevent me from developing deep friendships?
• Has it kept me from fully expressing myself?
• Has it kept me tethered to relationships where I felt unappreciated ?

Awareness creates choice. And with choice comes power—the power to begin shifting, even in the smallest ways.

In Part 3, we’ll explore how to safely and courageously open your heart again—without fear, without overwhelm, and without sacrificing healthy boundaries.

Until then, I encourage you to reflect on today’s message. Journal, meditate, or simply sit with this truth: You are worthy of love, connection, and joy. You don’t have to protect yourself from life—you are meant to live it fully.